Showing posts with label cheese. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cheese. Show all posts

Friday, July 20, 2012

The House of the Devil Review

The House of the Devil
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"The House of the Devil" is an assured little film that fondly invokes horror films from the 1970s and 1980s. Many people are going to complain that this movie is slow and boring, but they are missing the joys of this type of film making completely. The best horror is a slow burn leading up to the proverbial poo hitting the whirling blades. You have time to begin to care about these characters, before something terrible happens to them and it cuts deep.
The plot: a college student is ready to move out of her dorm and into a nice rental home, but needs to make some quick cash to pay the first month's rent. Responding to a flyer requesting a babysitter, she will get much more than she bargained for.
The final twenty minutes, while rapid-paced and bloody, do not live up to the promising tension built up by the rest of the movie. However, if the end was a bit of a letdown, overall the movie was very well done. This is not the action-packed gore fest that some people might be expecting. Instead, it is a solid throwback to horror films that used setting, tone, atmosphere, character-building, and music to build up to the scary!

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The Horror Film of the Year available on DVD.Sam (Donahue) is a pretty college sophomore, so desperate to earn some cash for a deposit on an apartment that she accepts a babysitting job even after she finds out there is no baby. Mr. and Mrs. Ulman (cult actors Noonan and Woronov) are the older couple who lure Sam out to their creaky Victorian mansion deep in the woods, just in time for a total lunar eclipse. Megan (Gerwig) is Sam's best friend, who gives her a ride out to the house, and reluctantly leaves her there despite suspecting that something is amiss. Victor (Bowen) at first seems like just a creepy guy lurking around the house, but quickly makes it clear that Sam will end this night in a bloody fight for her life...2009 Top 10 List Selections:TimeOut New YorkThe OnionAMCtvSound on Sight

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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Beastmaster (1982) Review

The Beastmaster (1982)
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The Beastmaster is a cult favorite that was a modest success in its initial release, but found an audience through home video and repeat (and I mean repeat) TV viewings. HBO doesn't stand for Home Box Office, it stands for "Hey, Beastmaster's On!" - Dennis Miller
Called a Conan the Barbarian ripoff, even though it was released shortly after that film which would've made it impossible to copy it, The Beastmaster stars Marc Singer (V: The Miniseries, Beastmaster II & III) as Dar, the last surving member of his tribe, who has the power to communicate telepathically with animals. His sidekicks include a black eagle (really a hawk), a black panther (actually a Bengal tiger painted black) named Ruh, and two cute ferrets named Kodo & Podo. They're on a quest to save the lovely slave girl, Kiri, played voluptuously by Tanya Roberts (Sheena, A View To A Kill, TVs That 70's Show) who also happens to be the cousin of the son of a king imprisoned by the evil Maax, played with an added beak nose by Rip Torn (Men In Black). The film blends a good amount of adventure, action, drama, romance, and heart to make any moviegoer satisfied. But my personal favorite scenes involve Dar playing with his animals (especially Kodo & Podo). Marc Singer is truly an animal lover who cares for them with honesty and sincerity, which gives the movie it's added zeal. Throw in John Amos as Seth for dramatic acting effect and you've got a perfect movie! Gotta love those creepy Birdmen as well as the evil Jun Horde!
The DVD Special Features are pretty good. You of course get the film in it's original widescreen aspect ratio (1.85:1), which is also enhanced for 16x9 TVs. There's an audio commentary by co-writer/director Don Coscarelli (Phantasm 1,2,3,&4) and co-writer/producer Paul Pepperman (Phantasm) which is informative but lacks in part due to both men not talking enough about Marc Singer or Tanya Roberts, and more about how disappointed they were in those bad effects shots (the Jun Horde army riding in the distance and the black eagle having to carry the little girl in mid air) and how they got the animals to do their work (FOOD!!). There's also an added bit of Behind the Scenes Home Movie footage with both Don & Paul providing commentary. Plus you get the Theatrical Trailer, original production art, poster still galleries, Talant bios and a really nice 16 page booklet with sketches and liner notes. And for those who don't know, there's a great "easter egg" hidden feature of the cut love scene between Dar & Kiri. Just click on "Extras" at the main menu, then once you're there go down to "Main Menu" and go right. When you hit enter you'll see the "Eye Ring" come to life and then the bonus scenes will begin!
The Beastmaster - A Cult Classic!
"I see through their eyes...they see through mine. They know my thoughts...I know theirs" - Marc Singer as Dar

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Item Name: The Beastmaster; Studio:Starz / Anchor Bay

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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Spectacular Review

Spectacular
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I recorded this on DVR for us to watch, and my 5 yr old and 3 yr old ended up LOVING this movie! One of the songs I caught my 5 yr old trying to sing along with! I will definitly be buying this DVD and soundtrack. I felt like the actors did an excellant job and the songs were catchy and fun!

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Get ready to rock the house with the Nickelodeon smash original movie Spectacular! When bad boy Nikko (Nolan Gerard Funk) gets dumped by his band, he finds the path to stardom can take some unexpected twists. Enter Courtney (Tammin Sursok), a show choir girl in need of a new star front man to help her group "bring it" and snag the national championship away from her arch rival Tammi (Victoria Justice). When this unlikely duo gets together, it's a rock explosion that lights up the stage in a way you've never experienced before. Featuring 10 hot new tracks from the music team behind High School Musical and hip dance moves that will have you up out of your seat.

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

The New Kids (1985) Review

The New Kids (1985)
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Simply put, this movie rules. You've got James Spader. You've got Lori Laughlin. You've got Sean S. Cunningham directing, and he not only produced HOUSE IV: HOME DEADLY HOME, he also produced LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, and directed some movie called FRIDAY THE 13TH.

But the kicker, and the reason I really sought it out, is novelist Harry Crews' involvement. After some research, I've found it difficult to determine exactly how much he had to do with the script. He's not credited, but is thanked in the end credits. Stephen Gyllenhaal and Brian Taggart get screenwriter nods, but in an old Crews interview, he mentions, "I wrote this script called THE NEW KIDS" (but that's all there is of the interview, the snippet posted on his website). So who knows. Actually, I'm sure there's someone fatter and uglier than me out there who knows, and assuming the person surely doesn't have anything better to do, they should contact me with more information.

THE NEW KIDS has nothing to do with Crews novels like "A Feast of Snakes" or "Car" or "The Knockout Artist," all humorously grotesque (sometimes stomach-churning) portraits of bizarro Southern life, which makes his direct involvement even more suspect. But it is a better-than-expected genre picture. Just look at what you get!

1) James Spader in speedo underwear.

2) James Spader doing a really bad, on-again-off-again Southern accent.

3) James Spader snorting cocaine in his van while his gang of cretins run around outside, dousing Lori Laughlin with lighter fluid and taunting her with lit matches in an attempt to get her to submit to a good, Southern-style gang rape.

4) Some dude named Shannon who plays a character named Loren.

5) Death by Ferris wheel.

6) Death by bumper cars.

7) Death by house of mirrors (in a super-lame LADY FROM SHANGHAI "homage").

8) Death by roller coaster.

9) A Lori Laughlin shower scene where you can clearly see, numerous times, her flesh-colored bikini hiding her wares from the filmmakers.

10) Eric Stoltz getting called "faggot."

Still not convinced? Well, there's nothing more I can do. If you require a plot description, you're already on the internet, so why don't you take some initiative?

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Abby McWilliams' (Lori Loughlin, TV's "Full House") nightmare begins when she attracts the unwanted attention of teenage psychopath Eddie Dutra (James Spader, TV's "Boston Practice"). Turned down for a date, Eddie destroys Abby's home, vandalizes her uncle's car and nearly stomps her brother Loren (Shannon Presby) to death. But it's only when he kidnaps Abby from the school dance, that Eddie shows his true feelings. Fueled by cocaine and armed with a shotgun, Eddie's lust turns to uncontrollable rage, as he takes Abby on a date from hell, in this terror-packed thrill-ride from the director of Friday the 13th and A Stranger is Watching.

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