Tales from the Crypt: The Complete First Season (1989) Review

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(More customer reviews)Welcome to my review, horror freaks! So glad you could join me and read about the 6 eerie episodes of HBO's "Tales from the Crypt," the very ones that helped the series rise from its tomb back in 1989. It's been 9 long years since the show went off the air, and until now, I've been waiting for the Crypt Keeper's putrid puns and awful alliterations to be forever preserved on DVD format. And why not? The show lasted a full 7 seasons and featured many of the biggest actors and directors in Hollywood. Each tale carefully incorporates the grisly black humor William M. Gaines EC comic books, which were almost banned in the 1950's. Did I say 'almost?' Anyway, as other HBO programs like "Dream On," "Deadwood," and "Carnivale" were packaged and displayed on Best Buy shelves, I wondered if "Tales" would ever be among them. Well, the time has finally arrived, creeps! As stated by John Kassir himself, Warner Brothers wisely chose to create these discs so we ourselves can scare the next generation of kiddies to come. Even better is the fact that the second disc of this Season 1 set will contain a sickening array of never-before-seen extras. I don't want to give the surprises away, but I will briefly tell you the stories you are about to see. Enter, if you dare!
"Dig that Cat...He's Real Gone" stars Joe Pantoliano as Ulric, a homeless alcoholic who becomes a rich and famous sideshow performer after a mad doctor (Gustav Vintas) surgically implants a cat's gland into Ulric's brain. This procedure allows him to die and return to life nine times. Morbid hilarity ensues as a carnival barker (Robert Wuhl) presents Ulric the Undying to astounded audiences who watch him get electrocuted, hanged, drowned in a tank, and shot with an arrow (among other things).
In "The Man Who was Death," Bill Sadler (who eventually starred in the 1995 Tales from the Crypt film "Demon Knight") plays Niles Talbot, a state executioner who loses his job after spending 12 years pulling the switch. This resulted because the government unexpectantly repealed the death penalty. However, not wanting to abandon his favorite occupation, Niles drifts to the other side of the law by killing criminals who were acquitted by the courts.
The frightening and festive "And All Through the House" stars Mary Ellen Trainor as a devious housewife named Elizabeth, who brutally bludgeons her husband with a poker to collect on an insurance policy. Just when she is ready to eliminate the corpse, a homicidal maniac donning a Santa Claus costume (Larry Drake) terrorizes her with an axe. Even worse, Elizabeth can't call the police for fear of being convicted of first degree murder and losing custody of her daughter.
Vanity and greed play a central role in "Only Sin Deep," a tale about a street prostitute named Sylvia Vane (Lea Thompson). After killing a pimp and stealing his gold jewelry, she willingly sells her beauty to a strange pawnbroker (Britt Leach) in exchange for $10,000 cash. At first, Sylvia wins over the affections of a suave playboy millionaire. But immediately afterward, as a result of some black magic performed by the pawnbroker, she gets increasingly distraught as her face quickly ages. Desperate to buy back her looks, she shoots her rich lover dead, but is then forced to avoid prison by staying ugly for life.
Prepare for a honeymoon hell in "Lover Come Hack To Me." Here, a cunning bachelor named Charles (Stephen Shellen) marries a naive Peggy (Amanda Plummer) for her inheritance money. On a rainy night, after accidentally getting stuck in an abandoned mansion, the two go up to the bedroom and make perfect love for the very first time. Originally, Charles was going to kill Peggy and stage the crime to look like a burglary. But he soon discovers that her family history is cursed, and that much darker skeletons lie in the bride's closet.
Last but not least is one of my favorite episodes, "Collection Completed." M. Emmet Walsh plays Jonas, a grouchy tool salesman who finally gets to retire after 47 years on the job. His slightly odd wife Anita (Audra Lindley) has developed a fondness for pets...alot of pets. In fact, she keeps a zoo-full of cats, dogs, and birds in the house. On top of that, she talks to squirrels and runs an aquarium in the bathtub. Obviously, such an attachment to animals is enough to drive Jonas up the wall! Inevitably, he gets sick and tired of not having enough attention, and he gleefully takes up taxidermy as a hobby. But those poor animals weren't the only living creatures that ended up getting stuffed.

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Based on the legendary and gruesome EC Comics from publisher William Gaines, this horror anthology featured stories of murder, the super natural, gore and humor and always had a twist ending of sorts. Some of Hollywood's biggest names took part, either working in front or behind the camera. Hosting duties fell to everyone's favorite decaying corpse, the Cryptkeeper. The success of this series spawned a Saturday morning cartoon series (Tales From the Cryptkeeper), a short-lived Saturday morning game show on CBS (Secrets of the Cryptkeeper's Haunted House) and lots of merchandise. Two feature films (Demon Knight and Bordello of Blood) were also produced and released in the late 90's. The TV series originally aired on HBO, but was later syndicated to Fox, the Sci-Fi Channel, and most recently AMC. Despite being a short season (only 6 episodes), Season 1 enjoyed the highest ratings in its HBO airings.

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The Real Ghostbusters: Complete Collection (2009) Review

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(More customer reviews)I was a huge Ghostbusters fan growing up in the 80s, and still am to this day. This cartoon left such an indelible impression on me that throughout the past 20 years different quotes or musical cues from the series often sprang into my head for no reason at all.
I purchased the individual discs that Sony put out a few a few years back but was just left pining for more. I was ecstatic when I heard the entire series was being released. I purchased the entire box set from Time Life a couple months back. I considered waiting until volume 1 was released on it's own but once I saw the firehouse packaging and the bonus disc that was included, I had to get it. Besides, I'm not very patient.
The extras are plentiful and the menus are nicely done. Some episodes have introductions, some have isolated score and sound effects tracks, and some have commentary.
Each volume comes in a beautifully decorated solid steel book case and contains five discs per volume, aside from volume 5 which has only four discs.
The episodes all look and sound great and are each shown in their entirety, including the talking logo that was used when going to and coming back from commercial breaks. In fact, if I were to have one complaint about the set, it's that the talking logo grows a bit tiresome. With six or seven episodes per disc, and the talking logo showing up about five or six times per episode, you're looking at having to see it around thirty to forty times if you select the `play all' option. I think it should have been featured as a bonus gallery. However, that complaint is so minor that it doesn't take anything away from this release.
This set truly sets a standard that other `complete series' sets should strive to achieve. With the release of the entire animated series and the upcoming releases of both the original film on Blu-ray and the video game in June, this is shaping up to be a very big year for us Ghostbusters fans.

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Housed in a collectible Ghostbuster's firehouse keepcase (complete with lenticular holograms of Slimer and the Ghostbusters logo) are five Amaray (plastic) DVD cases. Each DVD case comprises one volume of the show, with five discs in each, except for Volume 5, which has four discs. Also encased in the firehouse keepcase is a separate disc of bonus material and a companion booklet complete with an introduction, episode descriptions, special features descriptions, and bonus trivia.

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Vampires (1998) Review

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(More customer reviews)Vampires is one of my all time favorite movies, but to be fair, I could not give it five stars. However, I think anyone who likes horror, vampire movies or spaghetti Westerns MUST see this film at least once.
Vampires has almost everything it needs to be a truly great horror flick -- and it is good enough that I've been obsessing over owning the video ever since it left the theaters. It has great performances -- James Woods, of course, can always make me cringe, laugh or melt with startling ease, and it looks like he had a lot of fun with his role as obsessed vampire slayer Jack Crow. Supporting cast was solid, direction was crisp and snappy, the camera work was wonderful, costuming and props were cool (love the slayers' tools and Valek's coat!), and Carpenter's score suits what's going on onscreen perfectly.
Ironically, two of the best performances in the flick -- Thomas Ian Griffith as Valek, a genuinely scary and sensual vampire badguy, and Sheryl Lee as Katrina, a nascent vampire being used by the slayers to track Valek down -- had the least to work with where the script is concerned. Neither were given enough lines, but managed to do more with expression, tone and body language to make their characters believable than many people could have done with ten times that amount of dialog and screen time. Griffith especially was given short shrift in this department, but still manages to terrify and enthrall.
Vampires is also daring. Jack Crow (many of whose lines Woods improvised, to great effect) is absolutely uncompromising -- tough, flawed, mean, hot-tempered, and nearly as vicious as his quarry. He's the kind of person who will literally do whatever it takes to get the job done, and that's hard to look at at times. And no, he's not a nice guy. He's not PC (thank GOD!), which apparently irritated a lot of movie critics when Vampires came out. In fact, Jack Crow is a real bastard. He's also the only kind of person who would actually have the guts, and the bloodthirst, and the near suicidal singlemindedness, to actually go and hunt vampires. He's not here to charm us or even spare our feelings; he's here to save our butts. He's unnervingly fun to watch.
So, too, is his archnemesis, Jan Valek, who is right up there among my top ten Favorite Movie Badguys. Valek grabs the insipid, "vampires as lonely, romantic figures bemoaning their lost humanity and constantly falling in love with mortals they can never be with" image that has infected the vampire mythos of late and rips the living $^%$%^$@# out of it. He's a cold, scheming, vicious, arrogant, merciless, occasionally sadistic killer to whom humans are either tools, or food. He doesn't give interviews. He doesn't romance women who bear a resemblance to his lost love. He doesn't go clubbing or get embroiled in human politics or keep human 'pets'/servants. He is every inch the intelligent, cunning predator, completely alienated from human kind, and is undeniably a threat. He's also disturbingly alluring, which in a strange way just makes him even more frightening. And, like Crow, he doesn't do things halfway. Piss him off, he'll seduce your woman, tear all your friends apart and chase you down no matter how fast you run or how far you go. The movie illustrates this with a gory directness which is both disturbing and refreshing.
Ok, so that's what Vampires has going for it. Here's what it is lacking: real studio backing and funding. I don't know who dropped the ball on this one, but Vampires definitely needed a bigger budget. It needed to be about half an hour longer for character development's sake, the effects needed cleaning up in a few places, and the scriptwriter needed to be taken to a deserted area and had a gun held to his head til he revised out the cornier lines ("Unstoppable unless we stop him"?!? "I'll snap your neck like a twig"?!? Come ON!) and put in about three or four more revisions to even out the general story pacing, fix some of the dialog and GIVE KAT AND VALEK MORE LINES AND SCREEN TIME! :).
Sony/Largo/whoever also screwed up where promotion is concerned. There was almost NO advertising of Vampires once the movie actually came out, even though it was #1 nationwide its first week in theaters. The planned second soundtrack (with Marilyn Manson, etc) was to my knowledge never released, nor was there a 'book of the film', a 'making of' or any posters, etc. created besides the movie poster version you see on the front of the video box. Hello?!? Vampires made it to #1 for that week pretty much on its own merits. With some real support from its studio and distributor it could have done a lot better and also been a better movie.
Just my $0.02.

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JOHN CARPENTER'S VAMPIRES - DVD Movie

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