Walker, Texas Ranger - The First Season (1993) Review

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(More customer reviews)Seasons 1 & 2 of Walker, Texas Ranger is at it's best! The season started in April 1993 with only 3 episodes but later on the show would have a full 24 episode 2nd season in which would last for 9 full seasons until the series finally came to an end in May of 2001 . But anyway, here's are the episode guides for seasons 1 & 2.
Season 1 (April-May '93)
1.) One Riot, One Ranger 4/21/93
When his partner is killed during a bank robbery, Walker comes to the realization that the robbers may be planning to rob four banks in a row.
2.) Borderline 4/24/93
Walker must help Alex when she is stalked by an ex-convict whom she convicted back in the day.
3.) A Shadow in the Night 5/1/93
When a powerful Japanese Yazuka is killed by Congressman Cabe's assistant, the Yazuka come to America, seeking revenge, and Walker and Trivette are assigned to protect the congressman.
Season 2 (1993-94)
4.) Bounty 9/25/93
Bank robber Roy Buchanan is accidentally arrested, but when he is let go, he not only has Walker and Trivette on his heels, but a deadly bounty hunter by the name of Mawell as well.
5.) Storm Warning 10/2/93
When Trivette goes undercover into jail to destroy a drug ring, the transport crashes, and all the prisoners escape, and Trivette is trapped with them.
6.) In The Name Of God 10/30/93
A desperate man named Hank Berigan asks Alex for help in persuading his daughter, Amy, to leave the cult that she has joined. When Alex goes to the cult, she is imprisoned within, realizing that once someone enters the cult, they are never allowed to leave.
7.) Crime Wave Dave 11/6/93
Walker recieves a plea for help when a woman named Frances tells him how her husband, Billy, never returned home last night. Upon meeting Billy's probation officer, a man by the name of David Kilmer, Walker suspects something is very wrong.
8.) End Run 11/13/93
Walker and Trivette are assigned to escort Cat, a woman who is to testify against a gang leader, Trigger James, safely to her destination. However, the group is seperated, and by the time Trivette and Cat reach said destination, they've got a nasty surprise awaiting them...
9.) Family Matters 11/20/93
Walker is not able to arrest Mick Flanders because his sister is in the Witness Protection Program. Mick, proving that he's invincible, kidnaps a boy named Archie who was staying at Walker's ranch.
10.) She'll Do The Ride the River With 11/24/93
Walker investigates the murder of a veterinarian who was trying the find the cause of death of several unusual animal deaths.
11.) Unfinished Business 11/27/93
A Texas Ranger wannabe tries to upstage Walker by capturing prison escapees, buts gets innocent civilians in harm's way as well.
12.) An Innocent Man 12/4/93
Walker must find a way to prove a condemned man's guilty plea was the result of blackmail before he's put to death in the gas chamber.
13.) Night of the Gladiator 12/11/93
To get information on a gang who destroyed a friend's life via blackmail, Walker and Trivette join by posing as street fighters.
14.) Legend of the Running Bear 1/4/94
Walker's cousin, David Little Eagle Jackson, returns to the reservation following studying medicine to find many do not like him, including his girlfriend's father, whose murder he soon witnesses.
15.) Something in the Shadows (Part 1 of 2) 1/15/94
Walker and Trivette come close to apprehending the leader of a drug ring they've put out of business. Alex gets involved in the case of a student's rape.
16.) Something in the Shadows (Part 2 of 2) 1/22/94
Walker and Trivette come close to apprehending the leader of a drug ring they've put out of business. Alex gets involved in the case of a student's rape.
17.) On Deadly Ground 1/29/94
Though they've no jurisdiction there, Walker and Trivette go to Mexico to help Walker's former partner escape from Mexican criminals.
18.) Right Man, Wrong Time 2/5/94
Country-singer Merrilee needs Walker's protection from her estranged ex husband who's threatening her.
19.) The Prodigal Son 3/5/94
Walker soul searches after he nearly causes a young boy's death during a hostage situation.
20.) The Committee 3/12/94
Walker goes undercover to foil a small town's local officials, who've been taking the law into their own hands by killing the town's criminals.
21.) Deadly Vision 3/26/94
Using a psychic to help locate a kidnapped 8-year-old earns Trivette ridicule from his fellow rangers.
22.) Skyjacked 4/2/94
While transporting a condemned man from Ohio to Texas, his friends skyjack the plane and subdue Walker and Trivette, who must find a way to prevent his escape.
23.) The Long Haul 4/9/94
Walker and Trivette go undercover to find out what happened to Walker's friend, a victim of a hijacking.
24.) Rampage 4/30/94
C.D. must rescue Walker and Trivette after they get trapped in Texas' backlands while tracking brothers.
25 & 26.) Deadly Reunion (Part 1 of 2) and (Part 2 of 2) 5/14/94
Walker and Trivette get help from a legendary Texas Ranger, back to seek justice for his murdered son, to help track down an assassin with a senator in his sights.
27.) A Stolen Lullaby Season Finale 5/21/94
A rich couple who want to present a wholesome family image illegally adopt a baby stolen from its mother. Walker sets out to to get the baby back, but when the adoption broker threatens the baby's life, its birth mother backs down.
This is a great season and hopefully paramount will release the remaining seasons!

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This DVD contains the first three pilot episodes, as well as the first full season of Walker, Texas Ranger. Texas Ranger Cordell Walker, one of the last old-fashioned heroes in the West, is a protective friend but a relentless foe who will stop at nothing to bring a criminal to justice.

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Piranha (1978) Review

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(More customer reviews)Where would we be without the venerable Roger Corman? Lovers of B-movie madness would likely have a lot more time on their hands to read books, interact with family, or take part in generally otherwise fulfilling life experiences had old Rog chosen a different career path. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case may be, Corman sat out in Hollywood for three or four decades making low budget exploitation films. He also tried to cash in on every movie fad in modern cinema. And I do mean EVERY fad. You see, Roger had a dream to take an idea and make a profitable picture out of it that would entertain the masses. The problem was that someone else invariably had the idea first. Thus Lucas's "Star Wars" allowed Corman to unleash "Battle Beyond the Stars" on an unsuspecting public. Car chase movies saw Roger replying with "Grand Theft Auto" and "Eat My Dust." I could go on and on. There wasn't anything Corman couldn't do with someone else's idea. Perhaps the best example is "Piranha," a 1978 ripoff of Spielberg's "Jaws." This film made our man a lot of money, which allowed him to make even more spectacular ripoffs for years to come.
The flick starts with a couple of kids breaking into some sort of rundown fish hatchery for an evening swim. Something in the water kills them. End of movie. Seriously, something rather nasty does do away with the two idiots. We then see an insurance investigator by the name of Maggie McKeown (Heather Menzies on loan from Julie Andrews) heading out to discover what happened to these two dolts. She rather quickly hooks up with an embittered alcoholic with a penchant for flannel named Paul Grogan (Bradford Dillman channeling Grizzly Adams) who lives in a cabin down by the river. Somehow or other Maggie convinces Paul to head over to the fish hatchery with her. Sure enough they discover that something sinister has been going on there under the aegis of Dr. Robert Hoak (Kevin McCarthy). How do we know this? Because there's lots of nasty looking scientific stuff lying around all over the place. Anyway, Hoak eventually lets our two heroes in on a little secret: the government paid him a bunch of money to create a breed of piranha as part of some weapons program. Personally, I'm for anything that keeps communists out of our swimming pools, lakes, and rivers.
While all this nonsense goes on we know the piranha have escaped from the hatchery (thanks Maggie and Paul!) and are preparing a full-scale assault on the human race. A few locals fall prey first, but the real threat is the summer camp and an aquatic park downriver. Just to ratchet up the emotional element of the film a bit, we also learn that Paul's daughter is currently attending the camp. Oh dear! It's a race against time as Paul and Maggie set out with the twitchy Dr. Hoak in tow to stop the madness. As for the folks at the camp and the park, they haven't a clue as to what's about to happen. The only concern at the camp is the fascistic machinations of Mr. Dumont (Paul Bartel), a guy who takes great joy in ordering kids into the water and snooping on the foxy female counselors. At the water park, the owner plans on making a bundle on opening day and couldn't care less if a battleship full of exposed nuclear waste sailed into harbor. You can pretty much guess what happens in the last part of the film. Screaming, blood in the water, and a lot of out of shape Americans in unflattering bathing suits thrashing around on the beach in agonies. Fun!
I don't know whether to laugh or cry with this one, folks. Lots of people adore this film, and I probably would to if I'd seen it as a wee lad. I didn't, and I'm not that impressed. The swarms of piranha zipping through the water look so like the pieces of plastic they are that it's tough not to snicker. It's even worse when we see them up close chattering away on an exposed leg or belly. We're definitely looking at cheesefest central on a buck and a half budget here. At the same time, I did find a lot to like about the film. Seeing veteran horror babe Barbara Steele popping up from time to time as a government scientist named Dr. Mengers was a nice surprise, although she's largely wasted in the role. Kevin McCarthy plays frazzled well, and the script requires him to morph into a sniveling wimp for most of his screen time. Heck, we even see Richard Deacon (Mel from "The Dick Van Dyke Show") in a small role as Maggie's boss. Can't beat that. The talent behind the camera is moderately impressive too considering the budget. Joe Dante directed this flick, and John Sayles wrote the script. Both men went on to greater success, Dante with "Gremlins" and Sayles with "Eight Men Out," "The Howling," and several other mainstream movies.
Extras on the disc include a commentary track, extra footage, bloopers, and a few other odds and ends. Corman apparently took this film, or at least a similar concept, to television in the mid-1990s. If so, I haven't seen that version and thus cannot make a comparison. If the remake, or retread, or whatever it is looks and sounds like this movie, more laughs await us. Corman continues to churn out pap at an alarming rate, and has even recently inked a deal with Disney that will release his entire catalogue on DVD and keep it in circulation until the sun burns out. I've dogged on Corman quite a bit, but I do appreciate his films. If nothing else they are entertaining, and this one definitely works most of the time.

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (New Line Platinum Series) (2003) Review

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(More customer reviews)Just when you thought the original was disturbing, gross, disgusting, and frightening, now comes the updated version, "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," which knows no limits when it comes to gore and intensely terrifying moments. Is it a remake? Not necessarily. However, it is more like a movie that pays tribute to a great classic by offering its own vision of a well-known nightmare of limbs and guts.
While characters and some of the story has changed, the deranged and murderous plot remains the same. An unspeakable turn of events (I will not give away how it all starts, as it is very different from the original) lands a group of teens in a nightmarish maze that throws a mutilated man who wields a giant chainsaw in their path. Not to mention the "crazy" family that turns out to be just as vicious and murderous. For these teens, a safe place is nowhere in their short and painful future.
As I said in the beginning, this is not a remake. Nor is this a sequel. So what is it? Well, I like to think of it as an "updated" version of the original--in fact, I consider it more of a tribute to the classic that redefined the horror genera as we know it. This movie, while much more darker, sinister, and sicker, is not trying to live up to the original, nor is it trying to outdo it. I had to smile, as this was not a step-by-step remake, such as the newer "Psycho" was. There are new elements, characters, and plot twists thrown into the mix. And to be honest... it works.
I must confess, I had an unquestionably hard time trying to watch this movie. There were a bunch of moments that made me want to shut it off, and yet--I continued to watch the debauchery. There is a sick and twisted fascination that this movie exploits from us, knowing that we're going continue to watch no matter what. The original was choppy and had a very low-budget, so while it was undeniably violent and brutal it wasn't as hard to take. This new version is in no way a Grade-B movie. It's extremely realistic in its absolute brutality. This shouldn't even be considered as a choice for people who have a hard time watching violence, gore and torture. This movie takes it to the limit and is unapologetic.
Even though this was a hard movie to watch, I have to confess that I liked it. It is great to finally see a horror movie that isn't overly goofy. This is a straight-up and serious slasher movie that does what it's supposed to do--TERRIFY US. An element sadly forgotten by most of the horror flops that come out now. Maybe they can take a page from this movie and perhaps learn something. The acting is surprisingly good, the script is quite believable and is rarely cheesy or lame, and the film looks fantastic. Not a bad job for director Marcus Nispel.
This 2-Disc special edition (a single disc version is also available for those who aren't giant fans of the movie) has some tasty extras. As I said, the film looks and sounds great. You even have the choice of watching it in DTS if your little heart desires to do so. Special features include documentaries, deleted scenes, commentary, trailers, TV spots and a whole lot more. The star of the special features is an exclusive documentary on the notorious killer, Ed Gein, who inspired the original film. It's a really interesting feature and is the main reason to purchase this edition of the movie. The behind-the-scenes documentary (over an hour long) is also worth the money, as well.
"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is an unforgiving bloodbath that sends you to the butcher's with bloody front-row seats. It's not better than the original, and it is not trying to be. This film is more of a tribute to an undeniable classic. It's an entertaining new vision and interpretation of the original. If you're looking for a straight-up horror movie that isn't trying to be cutesy or is striving for pop status, then this is the one for you. Just remember one thing... once you open the door, there's no going back. A disturbing, and yet involving horror film that will stay in your head for days. -Michael Crane

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Walker Texas Ranger - The Final Season (1993) Review

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(More customer reviews)It's so odd to see that the final season of Walker, Texas Ranger, especially with Walker, Trivette, Gage, Sydney and Alex rather than seeing C.D. Parker in early seasons. But anyway, here are the episodes that are on the 9th and final seaosn. (The show debuted in the spring of 1993 so it technically has aired as a mid-season replacement before being ordered a full season that fall.)
1.) Home of the Brave
2.) Deadly Situation
3.) White Buffalo
4.) The Avenging Angel
5.) The Winds of Change
6.) Lazurus
7.) Turning Point
8.) Retribution
9.) Child of Hope
10.) Faith
11.) Golden Boy
12.) Desperate Measures
13.) Division Street
14.) Saturday Night
15.) Justice for All
16.) 6 Hours
17.) Medieval Crimes
18.) Legends
19.) Unsafe Speed
20.) Without a Sound
21.) Blood Diamonds
22.) Reel Rangeers
23/24.) The Final Show/Down (2 hr. series finale)
Great show but next time they should start from the first season. Not the last.

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Starring karate champion, Chuck Norris, WALKER, TEXAS RANGER centers around Cordell Walker, a contemporary Texas Ranger who is old-fashioned in his method of dealing with criminals, which entails using a lot of force.Joined by his partner, Jimmy Trivette, Walker does not shy away from his "eye for an eye" approach to law enforcement.

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King of the Hill - The Complete Fourth Season (1997) Review

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(More customer reviews)If you are considering the fourth season of King of the Hill for your DVD collection you are probably already a fan of the show. The fourth season has some of my favorite moments from KOTH. Cotton's horror as he finds out that his newborn son is leaking milk, Connie having her period while staying with the Hills, Hank's thanksgiving turkey being destroyed by a bomb squaud at the airport, Peggy's feet being featured on a foot fetish website, Bobby seeing his female cousin naked for the first time, and the whodunnit murder of a very minor character voiced by Reese Witherspoon. These episodes are great without question but what is up with the special features department? The first two seasons had it all, comentaries, animatics, deleted scences, easter eggs, the whole shebang. But when I purchased the third season it was as if they put the release together the night before it came out. There were absolutley no special features, nada, zilch, zip. The discs were the double sided kind, and the artwork on the packaging sucked. It took only a few months between the first and second releases and we got two awesome sets, but it took another year before the third season was released and we got stiffed big time. But now it is time for season four to be released and I'm getting worried that it will be a repeat of the rush-job we got for season three. I already know it is going to be 3 double-sided discs and it is coming out only 4 months after the previous release. I just hope Fox doesn't do this half-assed. I would be willing to wait a few extra months to get this DVD if it would mean getting it done right.

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All the Pretty Horses (2000) Review

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(More customer reviews)"It's the most fun I've ever had working on a film," Matt Damon gushed in one of numerous interviews for director Billy Bob Thornton's western epic, an adaptation of the novel by Cormac McCarthy that originally hit bookstore shelves back in 1992. Sad to say, Mr. Damon, it wasn't so fun to WATCH Thornton's finished product. "All The Pretty Horses" is like trying to interpret someone's bad dream, all scattered images and unintelligible action thrown together in a two-hour video. It is obvious in the first 30 minutes of "ATPH" that integral parts of the film were cut to fill a specific time frame. Enormous amounts of footage that would've made the film more understandable and perhaps even more enjoyable ended up on the cutting room floor due to squabbles between Thornton and studio execs. From what would've been a potentially long film (almost four hours, to be exact) it was severely sliced down to a mere 116 minutes by the hacksaw editors at Miramax and the film suffers greatly because of it.
The story is as follows: John Grady Cole (Damon) is a young man in late 1940's Texas who dreams of living the life of a prosperous rancher. He is determined to see and experience the old frontier before it disappears for good and makes a plan to travel to Mexico on horse with his good friend Lacy Rawlins (Thomas). On route, they meet tough-talking teen Jimmy Blevins, a young fugitive traversing the desert landscape on a stolen horse. He leaves the entourage only days later, dodging authorities for a second-theft of the same nature. Sans Blevins, John and Lacy cross the border and find work taming wild steeds for a man named Rocha, the most prestigious rancher in the area. Trouble brews when good ol' John falls for Rocha's beautiful daughter Alejandra (Cruz). Despite the tumult that their interracial relationship will cause, they begin seeing each other in secret and fall madly in love. About fifteen minutes after John and Alejandra are officially an item (it occurs so quickly - it's almost implausible), he and Lacy are detained by the local captain for murder and meet up with Blevins again when they are thrown into a filthy cell with him after their arrest. John and Lacy do time in a Mexican penitentiary (don't know how long; hard to tell) and Alejandra is completely out of the picture for the next hour.
It's at about this point in the movie that people who have not read McCarthy's novel will be thinking, "What's the hell's going on here?" They have good reason to ask this question, for nothing makes sense because of Thornton's massive amount of missing footage (probably about an hour and a half's worth, if I carefully judge). What will really boggle people is the relationship between John and Alejandra. The dialogue between them is too insubstantial and vague; their wordless exchanges aren't nearly enough to justify their instantaneous love affair. In a matter of minutes, John and Alejandra go from perfect strangers to voracious paramours, a tangle of limbs beneath the sheets. You don't see any emotional growth to their relationship. Instead, it's...BAM - they're in love! Cruz's Alejandra is reticent one moment and in the next moment knocking on Damon's bedroom door every night for a romantic rendezvous. Even their love scenes are shown in jump cuts, each shot of them kissing and embracing only seconds long. Fade in, fade out - and that's the way it goes. There is no insight to gain for their sudden chemistry and their heartrending romance. Of course, this is due to the faulty editing that is so apparent throughout the whole movie.
Many other defects stand out to the ardent observer. For example, Henry Thomas and Matt Damon look not the least bit rugged in their travails across the border. There is not a millimeter of stubble visible on their baby faces, even after several days in the rough and unforgiving terrain of Texas and Mexico with no hygiene whatsoever, not to mention an arduous stint in a filthy and fearsome penitentiary. They remain clean-shaven through it all. Not very realistic, if you ask me.
It is hard for me to critique most of the performances in this film because of all the missing pieces, but I will say this: Lucas Black RULED the screen. Black was the high of the lows and a welcome spark to the extensive and languorous shots of the Mexican range. Cocksure and completely resolved to keep both his horse and gun to his minute list of possessions, Black's strong-headed Blevins is a spunky refresher when someone becomes bored with John and Lacy's dreamy trek across the border.
Despite its greatest flaw, "All The Pretty Horses" still manages to come off as a striking and meaningful piece of work from a progressive director. I sincerely hope that within the next year, Thornton releases a director's cut version on DVD so that audiences predisposed to shunning this insufferable edition will get a chance to see Thornton's original and complete vision before the production axe came down with a loud and deadly crack.

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